The Joy of Sex

Why, oh why has something so beautiful and life affirming been so maligned in our culture? Politicians like Tipper Gore and the tedious PMRC want it banned from music. The Censors exist to keep it off of television and out of the movie theatres. Churches and in some states even the government try to limit the variety of sex to simple intercourse between members of the opposite sex for the purpose of procreation. Oral sex, anal sex, sex toys, etc. are all taboo. People over a certain age who were freaks their entire lives suddenly decide to adopt more puritanical attitudes towards sex because it's expected of them. "I can't dress that way, talk that way, act that way anymore, now that I'm a mother or father or grandmother or grandfather." Bullshit! Who the fuck says? "How would I look having sex in the backseat of a car at age forty?" Well, I'd imagine you'd look like someone who knows how to live. "What would the neighbors think?" Fuck them!

Me? I love sex. I love to talk about it. I love to watch it on TV, listen to it in songs, in jokes, perform the act in as many varied ways as possible, and I love to write about it. Okay, I admit it. I often masturbate while writing a sex scene. That's why you probably won't read a book written by me that doesn't contain a sex scene until I'm old and impotent. My fantasy life could fill an entire adult video store. I love sex. I can honestly say that I have never heard of any act performed by two consenting adults that was so perverse that I have not at one time imagined myself capable of it. I love to make love. I love to fuck. I love to cuddle and caress. I love to spank, bite, and paddle. Whether I'm a father or even when I become a grandfather I will never feel the need to curb my appetite. Even though I have now accepted that monogamy is possible for me if I want it bad enough, I don't feel that limiting myself to one woman necessarily means limiting myself to a life less passionate, less wild, or less adventurous. To me that would be no life at all.

Sex is the only only positive stimulus more powerful than pain. It can be argued that every other pleasurable sensation is merely the absence of pain. Sex does not fall into this category. You can have sex, enjoy sex, even while you are in pain. You are often totally oblivious to pain when you are sexually excited. Try holding a push-up position for twenty minutes when you are not having sex and you'll see what I mean. Try rubbing your knees or back across the carpet for an hour when you are not having sex. The sex drive is arguably the second most powerful instinct in animals, right after hunger, but before self-preservation. The Praying Mantis won't stop fucking even while his mate is cannibalizing his head. Hawks won't separate until after they have achieved orgasm even while hurtling towards earth a mile a minute. Animals fight, kill, and die for mates every spring. I have at times been addicted to the act. Many times in fact. I have stayed in relationships with women I truly detested because the sex was so good. I have ruined good relationships because the sex was better with someone else. I once left a hospital prior to surgery for a hernia, tied a belt around my waist to hold my intestines in place, and went to an ex-girlfriend's house for a night of vigorous sex (all while in excruciating pain) because I couldn't stand the idea of going a night without it. Okay, I had problems then, but I'm much better now.

So how could such a joyous act inspire such shame and ire in people. Why does our culture treat it as something dirty and unsavory? Fuck if I know. All I know is that I think those people are idiots. It's good to fuck.

Yeah, I understand that sex can be used as a means of power and control over people. I understand that it can be used to degrade and humiliate and inflict pain and if it's non-consensual it's wrong. Period. If it's consensual than no matter how twisted or perverse it may be it's all good in my book. I'll go one further. If you are having so much sex that it interferes in your ability to hold a job or live a normal productive life, than that's wrong too. All things in moderation? Hmmm? Maybe not. Define excess. But all things that won't leave you broke, ill, ostracized, imprisoned, or dead.

A life less passionate is a life less desirable. Someday I will marry again. Yeah, that's right. Me. The woman I will marry is one who has been with me through a lot of shit. She has stood by me through ups and downs in my writing career, my fighting career, my emotional life, has always understood and accepted me, and just as importantly she is more compatible with me sexually than any woman I have ever known or probably ever will. I will be completely unerringly monogamous to her. I will never put anyone else above or beside her ever again. And you will be able to light the heavens with our sexual energy and excitement. Sounds like a fantasy doesn't it? Well, it is. It is my fantasy so don't fuck with it. And it gets real dirty and sexy from here, lots of Astroglide, semen, saliva, leather, latex, and fur. So I guess I'd better stop before I offend the puritans. Just remember sex is good. Censorship bad. Try it. You'll like it.