Friday, April 09, 2010
I Like Big Girls
Most of my life I struggled to avoid becoming a stereotype. I didn't talk in slang. I didn't smoke weed or sell crack. I didn't have rims on my car and sub woofers that rattled every window on the block. I actually read books, not a magazine, not the sports page, but real books. I didn't eat pig's feet or chittlins. I was never in a gang. I never went to prison. I didn't blame the white man for all the ills of the world. I never took a Muslim name. I was an absolute individual. All that has changed now. I have found out something about myself that places me firmly within the black male stereotype.
I have always said that I don't subscribe to the popular standards Americans have of what a beautiful woman is. I have blogged about how disgusted I am with the modern female standard of beauty and how damaging I think it is to a woman's self-esteem. I have said that I have no preference when it comes to a woman's physical appearance. I like women of all shapes and sizes. I was wrong. I do have a preference.
I was standing outside of Lane Bryants the other day and I found myself staring long and hard at the models whose photographs adorned the walls. It surprised me because I don't usually think much of models. They're pretty but I seldom find them sexy. These women however, were sexy as hell. I couldn't stop staring at them. I actually walked into the store and found myself in the lingerie section ogling the posters of the models in nighties and bras. Yeah, I'm kind of a dirty old perv. But they were the sexiest, most attractive models I had ever seen... and they were all plus-sized models.
There was a Dove advertisement in a women's magazine the other day at the doctor's office. The women in the ad were amazingly attractive. I was literally drooling over the photo. They had large breasts and thick thighs and big round butts. Once again, they were all plus-sized models and they were fucking jaw-dropping gorgeous. Then it hit me. I do have a type. I don't like all body types equally.
I like big girls.
It's not that I appreciate a curvaceous woman as much as a slender model type. Slender model types don't really arouse me at all unless there's something about their personality or the way they carry themselves that attracts me. But when it comes to pure physical attraction I like my women plus-sized. What a revelation that was.
I never wanted to be one of those black guys that chase chubby women. I never wanted to be the guy that slender beautiful black women looked at in disgust because they had a large white woman on their arm. But I have to admit that those extra pounds my wife gained after giving birth to our daughters has only made her more attractive in my eyes. Not that my wife is a heavyweight. She is far from it in fact. But what I realize now is that if she was, I wouldn't mind. I'd fucking love it. I am now, despite all my efforts, a stereotypical black man. How did this happen? And where is all the good chubby porn?