Twelve Things You'd Hate About Me

At MoCon this year we did a panel on how much you should tell your readers about yourself on your blog. How much do readers really need to know about your personal life and when have you just said way too much? Well, one of the things that I believe my readers appreciate in my work is my emotional and intellectual honesty. I don't hold anything back. For those of you who have followed this blog for the last few years you know that I am the same way on here. I tell everything I am thinking or feeling, for better or for worse. If you read this blog then you probably know my opinions on love, religion, family, politics, art, sports, and just about everything else. Those who have read my blog for the past five years know some of the most intimate facts about me. Well, here are a few more.

I am not perfect. I am romantic. I write poetry. I work out. I cook. I buy roses and jewelry for no particular reason. I am that rare man who even loves shopping for clothes with my wife. I shower my loved ones with gifts and compliments. I am affectionate to a fault. You will never say, "How come we never go anywhere?" I love dinner and dancing as much as any woman and I don't skimp when I do it. A five star restaurant is fine with me. But I am still a man underneath all of that. So, for the ladies out there who have wondered what life with Wrath James White would be like, here's a look at me from my wife's perspective.

1.) I bite my fingernails and spit them just about everywhere.
2.) Occassionally, I even bite my toenails.
3.) I shave my face and head and sometimes forget to wash the hairs off the bathroom sink.
4.) I don't like turning on the bathroom light when I get up in the middle of the night to use the toilet so sometimes I miss.
5.) I sometimes pass gas in my sleep.
6.) I am not a handyman. I won't change the car's oil or build you a nice set of shelves but I'll happily pay someone else to do it.
7.) I am not the fishing, camping, hunting type. I'm a city boy through and through.
8.) I often think I'm right and usually am. Hey, I was a compulsive reader in my youth. I read a book a day until I was nearly thirty. I know some shit. If you aren't certain about your info than don't start the argument, especially when it comes to areas where you know I know my shit.
9.) When it comes to things I don't know shit about I sometimes find it hard to fake interest. We live in the information age, generally, unless its something new like a recent scientific or medical breakthrough or some kind of current event, if I was interested in it I'd already know a lot about it.
10.) I'm still a sex addict. So, "Let's just cuddle tonight." is still kind of hard for me.
11.) I don't do dishes. I cook. You clean. Deal? Deal.
12.) I don't do bathrooms. I know. I know. I'm the guy who sometimes misses the toilet but I won't clean the damn thing? Can't I just buy you jewelry instead?
13.) I don't like team sports and have no interest in hearing about the exploits of your favorite baseball, football, basketball, or hockey team or player unless he just killed somebody. (see #9.)

So there you have it. I know, That was thirteen. See, I'm not perfect. I can be as much of a neanderthal as any man. And, in case you were thinking it, men don't change. We try, but underneath it all we are still the same. So I may turn on the bathroom light every night for six nights straight but on the seventh night I'm back to shooting in the dark. Did I mention I leave the toilet seat up? Damn, I'm a mess.