Saturday, July 03, 2010

This I Fear

I am in the fear business. Knowing what scares people is integral to what I do. This has helped me to write some truly terrifying scenes. Often I am asked what exactly scares me. In truth, being human, a lot of the same things that scare you scare me as well. However, being a horror author, I have confronted those fears so often in my writing that most of them no longer have the same sting and many of them are merely an echo, a distant memory, of their former terror. Some of these fears are gone entirely with not so much as a whisper. So, what am I afraid of? Most of my fears are emotional rather than physical. Here are a few of those things that still keep me up at night.

1. Death. Hey, I'm human. The idea of dying with goals left unaccomplished, dreams left unfulfilled,and experiences left unhad, scares me as much as anybody. I don't have any fear of what lies on the other side. I'm pretty certain that when you are gone you are gone, but I am worried about being forgotten, my entire life amounting to nothing more than dust and stench. That's one of the main reasons why I write.

2. Failure. Even more than being forgotten after I'm dead, the idea that I might be forgotten while I'm still alive scares the hell out of me. I'm okay with the idea that one's reach should exceed their grasp but if your dreams are always out of reach eventually, even the strongest of us, would crumble under the weight of despair and disappointment.

3. Screwing Up My Kids. I think every parent's worst nightmare is that some unresolved issues of ours or some momentary lapse in judgment might ruin our children's lives forever. That our daughter's will wind up drug-addicted whores and our son's will end up in prison.

4. Being Hacked To Pieces By A Maniac. Why do you think I write about it?

5. Home Invasion. Having my family at the mercy of some gun-toting assholes and having to risk my life to save them but knowing that even after I'm shot down my family might still be in danger. That's a conundrum I can do without.

6. Torture. Again, why do you think I write about it? Being completely helpless while some lunatic does whatever he pleases with me would be about the scariest thing I could think of.

7. Large Moving Objects Underwater. Yeah, I know. I may not be afraid of snakes and spiders but I too have some irrational fears. Lets just say that if I was swimming and a whale swam up next to me, I'd probably faint and drown.

8. Large Bridges and Scaffolding. A reoccurring nightmare since I was a kid has been traveling across a crumbling bridge. As I have gotten older, the bridges in the dreams have gotten exponentially larger. In the last dream I was driving across it and it crumbled into the ocean and I had to swim. I can't swim. This one is so bad that I was driving past the new bridge that they are constructing over Hoover Dam and I couldn't even look at it. I have confronted this one many times, driving and walking over huge bridges, yet it persists. Another irrational fear.

9. Getting Old and Being Alone or Unhappy. This is one of those universal fears. We all know we are going to get old and we all hate it. The idea that we will outlive our family and friends or simply lose touch with them is scary to me. As is the fear that I will be single at 50 or 60, one of those old guys chasing young girls and going home to some lonely old apartment, kids who don't speak to him, a string of bitter ex-wives, dreaming of his youth when he was a handsome stud as his waistline expands and his muscle-tone diminishes.

10. Toxic Relationships. Friends, family, lovers, who take more than they give and seem to complicate your life and make it harder. Yeah, that's one of my biggest fears.

That's all of them. Yup, even horror authors get scared and that is how we are able to scare you. If you've read my work then you probably recognize some of these fears as they have appeared in past stories. Look forward to some of these fears, like crumbling bridges and large objects moving underwater, showing up in future stories. I'm surprised I've never written a sea monster tale. I will definitely have to correct that. So, what terrifies you?


Paperback Horror said...

I can commiserate with number 7 and 8, and all of the emotional ones as well.

I have a great big fear of open water, and I have not idea why. Not being able to see anything under my feet keeps me within the shore line every time we go to the beach. Fun stuff, these fears.

Wes Southard said...

Hands around my throat. I can't utterly stand the thought of being choked. Makes me cringe just thinking about it.

Chris J said...

I am terrified of something happening to my kids because I know if something happened to them my life would be over as well. I can't imagine living if something happened to one of my kids.

At the same time I fear that my overprotectiveness might hamper their ability to become independent and accomplish their goals.

Wrath said...

I think the fear of something happening to your kids is pretty universal. I have been trying to think of a way to deal with that one in a horror story. I have a few ideas.

Choking huh, Wes? Well, then you should definitely not date me. LOL.

Jesus said...

What's up wrath.

What I fear most is a hooker with cold hands. Hands down...

All joking aside.

I am a scientist working for fermilab, I have been working on containing antimatter, that was scares me, the knowledge that the governemtn will use it for other purposes, rather than pure energy. That frightens me.


The J is for Jesus.

Nick Cato said...

I hear you on the bridge thing. I have to drive across one of the longest suspension bridges in the world every day of my life. Not fun.

Anonymous said...

I know its pretty stupid, but I've had a fear of the dark since I was a little kid. I always freak out and think somebody is there with me just sitting in the dark watching me...

Anonymous said...

Bees. Spiders and most forms of insects don't scare me at all (I know spiders are arachnids, not insects), but I detest bees.

LouiseBohmer said...

People. Bathrooms. The dark sometimes. Heights.

V. Weather said...

All very valid. I've got personal experience with those large underwater objects. One year when I was up in Florida a freaking manatee swam up near shore, right up goddamn to me. I swear, it was like in a Disney flick - the thing was trying to swim up and nuzzle me. I freaked the hell out and spazzed away quickly. Got a breif look at it while leaping away, but I could tell I didn't want that ugly, scaborous, wet skin rubbing all over me. Didn't help any that I'd read about selkies earlier that day.